why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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