i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
