Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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