do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
