im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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