I'm going to jail i love you
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
