Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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