When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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