quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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