Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he fucked my hip out of place.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
