You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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