yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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