Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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