Only a mothe r could love this liver
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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