My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
