U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
