i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
