Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
