if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
