in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
