i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
