you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize
