i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
