how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
this will be a night to untag.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
