i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
