Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
