There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
