Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
