Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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