so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
