Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
