She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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