Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
