I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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