there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
