i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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