please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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