imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
