saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
