You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
