This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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