My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
