She said her name was "party"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize
