around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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