what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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