On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
