no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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