Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
