she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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