Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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