dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
